Mind Bottling, Isn't It?

I've always had a problem with letting people that I've had feelings for go. When I feel such a connection with someone I fail to give up on what I feel. I search for that feeling from other people, but always fail to feel it. Sometimes I end up with rebounds knowing that there's no way in hell it's going to last but yet still find myself getting attached. I know so many faces now that I pretend not to when walking past them on the street. Does that make me strong or afraid? I get so confused. Specially when an ex wants me back. Its like do I give into what they and I want? Or do I move onto better and save myself from getting hurt? I have one ex that I broke up with over 20 times. I mean it's ridiculous how many times we broke up and then got back together. Even when we were just friends we'd argue non-stop. but I loved him. I loved him so fucking much it scared me. Every time we broke up I cried my eyes out until my eyes couldn't even produce any more ...

It's really hard to build a new life Trying to become a better person almost seems impossible Everything that you're trying to change about yourself Seems to be what the people who mean the most only see When you do good But when you do bad there's always an "I told you so" without hesitation Like they're waiting for you to just fuck up If you loved me so much why don't you support me? If you loved me so much why can't you accept me? If you loved me so much why can't I feel what you say you have for me? Instead of criticizing and causing pain Once you decide that there's no way to become that person you want to be with all the negativity around You mentally move away from them While others could never picture you as the person you once were That's all the ones that are dearest to you can see Why can't they accept change? I did.