Mind Bottling, Isn't It?

Love. Now love is something that we all want and yearn for but some of us only touch it for a small period of time. But that small window is something that we remember for the rest of our lives. One heart break is all it takes to turn us away from love forever. And I've always wondered why is that? When I felt heart break after a long term relationship there was a huge part of me that felt broken and shattered in so many ways. I had lost myself in that relationship to the point where when I left it I could barely recognize my reflection. I built him up while tearing myself down to dust. I turned my cheek to things that I should've left for. Resentment built for things I promised that I had forgiven him for but never did. I loss my self esteem in lurking on other women pages comparing myself to each picture. I loss my confidence when i began to walk the town and saw eyes staring at the two of us and realizing that I was viewed as a clown. I allowed a man to absorb all of me unt...

Healing is something that I so truly long for. It seems like I use the word at least once a day to remind myself what I am trying to do. I just want to be at that point where it hurts so little that I forgot what I was crying about in the first place. That point where I can look back and chuckle at hard I thought life was just to find out it gets harder. Your problems get bigger and I just had to become stronger. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of losing myself to my pain. I'm afraid of becoming stagnant in the point of my trauma. I don't want what I've been through to define me but it truly molded me in so many ways. So where do I find the balance? When is it that I come to that point in my life where I feel truly content? Like I've battled every battle and every trial. As time goes on i'm slowly but surely realizing that life isn't going to get any easier. Yesterday can no longer be touched and tomorrow is non existent. So I am choosing. I am choosing to live ...