Mind Bottling, Isn't It?

So today I was at Wally World (Walmart) with my mom and it's been a while since we've you know went to a place together. I realized how much I hate being yelled at 24/7 See I'm a person that enjoys fun fun fun fun . I love going to grocery stores and running down the isle with my friends. Drinking soda and chips while walking down the isle pushing my mamis (friends) in the cart. I like to make fun of everything that I do. No boredom will be tolerated around me. What I hate  is when old people like my mom ( who I love ) try to ruin it. I'm young and a little bit dumb and I just want to enjoy my young life while it's still young. I also strongly dislike when boring adults try to use the excuse "People are looking" "What will they think" "You're embarrassing me" LIKE BITCH! I honestly feel like people who have known me for a long time, even if they dislike me should probably have figured out how much I truly do not give a fuck....

Enough with the poem shit Ive got all my popular thoughts out for now. My next subject is going to be about having children. Now as a young female I am required by society and dumb ass religion to get married and have children and blah blah blah. I am so sick and tired of peoples shocked facial expression when I say "O I dont want kids" If you grew up with an extemely large amount of siblings like I did then you probably understand where im coming from. Or you could be in complete disgust and completely disagree. I think that growing up with a big family could go either way about having kids. Either you want a lot of kids or none at all. Me personally being the oldest of 5 girls is exhausting and a blessing at the same time. I couldnt ever imagine my life without even one of my sisters even if things would be easier. BUT having siblings is the closest thing to having your own children and trust me if I had the choice to not have 6 kids, Id choose it. Besides...

It's really hard to build a new life Trying to become a better person almost seems impossible Everything that you're trying to change about yourself Seems to be what the people who mean the most only see When you do good But when you do bad there's always an "I told you so" without hesitation Like they're waiting for you to just fuck up If you loved me so much why don't you support me? If you loved me so much why can't you accept me? If you loved me so much why can't I feel what you say you have for me? Instead of criticizing and causing pain Once you decide that there's no way to become that person you want to be with all the negativity around You mentally move away from them While others could never picture you as the person you once were That's all the ones that are dearest to you can see Why can't they accept change? I did.

In all honesty, I've never really known how to you know write. I know it sounds silly but I always have so many thoughts in my head at once that once I start on one topic; it always leads to another. Which can be frustrating, especially when it comes to trying to maintain a diary or a blog like this. My mind has so much depth that i get lost in it all the time.