Mind Bottling, Isn't It?

I think that I've fallen in love so many fucking times that I'm like an expert at getting someone that I want. But then again even if i do get who I want it seems to never work out. Why is it that some of the more "experienced" people end up being the ones that are the loneliest. What has changed in us from when we first started learning to now being an expert? It seems like when we start off with a clean slate we don't have a single clue about love physically and emotionally. It really depends on the situation for most people though. But me personally when I knew less it seemed like the relationship(s) I were in were better but ended worst. More loving more interesting and less arguing hurt and tears. I keep wondering what the hell has changed? Am I secretly the reason why my relationships don't work out? Have I grown bored and out of interest of love all together? It seems like the chase was more fun that the actual catch. I had so much to learn and exp...

I miss him so much I miss laughing at his nervously misspoken words and his cheesy jokes I miss him telling me that he loves me I miss watching him eat me out I miss grabbing on his hair while arching my back I miss the way he touched me I miss the way he bought goosebumps to my limbs I miss the way he talked; his hood given accent I miss his never unspoken wisdom I miss every emotion that he gave me; good and bad I miss him so much

Cannons going off on one side gun shots popping off on the other side  My thoughts are like the devil and angel standing on my shoulders  The angel's always yelling at me Calling me stupid and making me regret everything that I do That's why I love the devil so How can something resembling peace and love Possibly be what's causing fear, regret, and shame? I want to be good but yet Even though the horns on my head have a halo hovering them I wish I was just wearing horns